Another week of being stuck in our homes leads to another weekend of some of the world’s best theatres and performers offering their material for free. Sure, I know it probably feels like we’re living in the worst timeline at the moment, dealing with coronavirus marauding through the streets, stealing our jobs and women (and, sure, some men), forced to stare outside the window at birds steadily getting cockier and

Battle of the Sherlocks: Benedict Cumberbatch & Johnny Lee Miller in Frankenstein (National Theatre)

Battle of the Sherlocks: Cumberbatch & Miller in Frankenstein (National Theatre)

 cockier as this lockdown rolls on. When I was young and doing my homework, my mother would declare “Don’t worry about outside, outside is going nowhere, it’ll be there when you’re done!” Well, you were wrong, Mother. Outside is gone, just as it was for Clov and Hamm in Beckett’s Endgame. Enjoy your bin.

No, we’re living in the BEST timeline if we can ignore the plague (note: please don’t ignore the plague – it’s trying to kill you). Other timelines don’t have anywhere near as much free theatre, dance and music being sent to us on the Internet. Plenty of utterly fab things this weekend that you can watch from home. As usual, many of the performances have a virtual hat into which you can throw a few quid if you feel like supporting the artists who have entertained you.

Dear Ireland
The Abbey Theatre’s Dear Ireland has been running all week on Youtube. 50 actors and 50 writers have taken part in the project, creating 50 monologues for you to enjoy from home. The mini plays are available on their page for the next six months. They range from poignant to hilarious and are definitely worth seeing. You can watch part one, two, three and four separately (each will take you between two and three hours) or just set aside ten hours and watch them as one playlist.

Part One:

Part Two:

Part Three:

Part Four:

National Theatre: Battle of the Sherlocks
In the Spring of 2011, Frankenstein was deservedly the hottest theatre show in London. Directed by Danny Boyle, the stage production of taking life to the second birth starred Benedict Cumberbatch (who you’ll remember from playing Sherlock Holmes, as well as his inability to say “penguin”) and Jonny Lee Miller (who you’ll also remember from playing Sherlock Holmes, as well as his inability to say no to Angelina Jolie). The show tells Mary Shelley’s story from the perspective of Victor Frankenstein’s narky creation, akin to re-telling The Tempest from the perspective of Caliban. Cumberbatch and Miller alternate in the roles of the Creature, who is the child of Frankenstein and thus can be called Frankenstein, and Victor Frankenstein, who is some creature.

Rather wonderfully, they filmed both versions, so you can take your pick of seeing Benedict Cumberbatch as The Creature or Jonny Lee Miller as The Creature. If you have time to see only one, I suggest watching the Cumberbatch-as-Creature version. But it’s worth taking the time to see both.

If you loved the opening ceremony for the 2012 London Olympics, this show is guaranteed to be right up your alley – Mark Tildesley worked on both and it shows.

Cumberbatch as Creature is available until 7pm on May 7.

Miller as Creature is available until 7pm on May 8.

1984… but ballet
If, like me, you like a bit of ballet maybe twice a year (nothing too fancy, let’s not bother to get dressed up) but also see shadows of a future dystopia where the machines train humans to do arabesques and assemblés 24/7 for their perverted amusement, I have a show for you. In 2015, Northern Ballet mounted a wonderful production of 1984. Yes, that 1984. George Orwell’s warning about the all-pervading power of an ever-monitoring state. But, y’know, ballet. If you’ve had enough of The Nutcracker or if you’re the sort of person who never wants to see The Nutcracker, this might be the show that makes you like ballet (again, nothing too fancy, let’s not bother to get dressed up). It is dark, disturbing and very accomplished. Orwell would approve.

You can see it for free until May 2.

For families: The Girl Who Forgot To Sing Badly
The Sydney Opera House is running an ongoing From Our House To Yours season, which this weekend includes Theatre Lovett‘s The Girl Who Forgot To Sing Badly. I’ve never seen a Theatre Lovett show that I didn’t adore and this is not an exception. It’s fun, funny and extremely family-friendly (suitable for anyone over 7). They’ll be touring this show across North America next year so if you’re living in Trumpland, look out for it.

There’s no end-date for seeing the show on the Sydney Opera House website, so I assume you’ll be able to see it all weekend.

Horny? Call a matchmaker
For 50 years, the writings of john B Keane captured the hilarious details of Irish country life in the same way that Brian O’Nolan was displaying the sometimes surreal nature of the rest of the country. Keane’s comic book Letters Of An Irish Country Matchmaker was turned into a very successful stage show about two decades ago and still tours annually to the sorts and sizes of audiences who subsidise all the weird stuff that I like to watch in a 200-seater theatre with six other people. Thanks, folks.

You can see the 2001 stage performance of the show (pretty much *the* classic performance of the show), recorded at the Olympia Theatre, courtesy of the Civic Theatre and Michael Scott of City Theatre Dublin. It stars Des Keogh and Anna Manahan. It should be available until at least the end of this weekend. See it here.

Princesses, peas and just one night of decent sleep
The Princess And The Pea is a classic tale of a very privileged woman (a literal princess) who’s really picky about her sleeping arrangements. Every slight lump in the bed will be reported at breakfast time and, presumably, every slight lump in her breakfast eggs will be reported to the guy who chops heads off.

You can see the Ark‘s Far Away From Me, which comes with aerial performance, dance and plenty of music, until May 6. See it here.


The Midnight Gang
To avoid being thought of as some sort of theatre snob (or someone with standards) it’s good to include one musical per week. I’d apologise for including the sequel to the Phantom of the Opera in last week’s listings but I warned you off it, so we’re all square. Here’s something I can happily recommend though: a musical version of David Walliams’ The Midnight Gang. Set in a wacky hospital, it features five children whose lives get going at midnight every night. And they sing. Because it’s a musical. Otherwise it would be unnatural and wrong. Very suiotable for children and people who like musicals. You can see it on the Chichester Festival Theatre website until the end of May.

Ai Weiwei, not Huawei… wei
Hampstead Theatre‘s The Arrest Of Ai Weiwei was staged in 2013 and tells the story of Chinese artist and activist Ai Weiwei. Like 1984, it’s an examination of a monolithic state versus someone who wants to live their life in their own way. The stage show is semi-documentary, semi-Beckett and totally worth your time. It stars Benedict Wong, who you’ll know from that movie with one of the Sherlocks from up the page. The one where Earth has wizards now. Benedict Wong is a fine actor and should be remembered more for this show than for being the patient sidekick of an asshole wizard. You can see the show until May 3.

The Time Of Your Life
With so many big shows with big-name stars, it might seem odd that the show I’m recommending that you don’t miss under any circumstances this week is a 25-minute piece of physical theatre shot in the BBC’s Television Centre and aired in 2015… but that’s what I’m doing. Gecko’s The Time Of Your Life was made for the BBC’s Live From Television Centre show, one of five theatre pieces written specifically for the BBC, and it is utterly outstanding. It shows the entirety of a person’s life in under half an hour and comes with a twist… which I won’t tell you about as telling you that it’s there won’t spoil the show but telling you what it is will. It’s an outstanding piece of writing with outstanding performances. See it here.

Opera: Cosi Fan Tutte
Like ballet, opera can be too stuffy for its own good when taken too seriously. Last week I recommended you dive into the Metropolitan Opera’s free offerings (and those are still continuing) but this week I’m suggesting the Royal Opera House’s production of Mozart’s 1790 opera Cosi Fan Tutte.

It’s not the best production you’ll ever see of the opera but it has plenty of people in leather jackets, so it at least makes the plot (a passing prick betting two geezers that he can prove that their partners are, like all women he says, incapable of being unfaithful) slightly more relatable. Worth seeing.

You can see it until May 10.

Duncairn Virtual Cabaret
The Duncairn is the heart of the arts scene in north Belfast and they’re keeping that fire burning throughout the lockdown with a series of weekly virtual cabaret nights on their facebook and youtube pages. This Saturday night (May 2) from 8:30pm you can check out the Duncairn Virtual Cabaret 5, which will include performances by Lisa Hannigan, the Ocelots and John Spillane. Minimum suggested donation is a fiver.

Limerick corner
Limerick’s flagship annual festival is Riverfest, which usually takes place on the May bank holiday weekend (this weekend). It is what it is. This year, to the chagrin of Riverfest fans, the festival can’t take place because of COVID-19. But there will be a free stream of a Hermitage Green gig, which you can watch on the Riverfest Facebook page. It’ll kick off on Saturday May 2 at 9pm. The Virtual Riverfest also features some cookery demos and fashion videos. I’m fairly sure the world isn’t short of either of those things but you can find them on the Riverfest page.

That’s your lot for this week…
Like the title says, that’s your lot for this week. Some of last week’s events are still available, so have a look there too. Feel free to like the Things What Are On In Limerick facebook page, but only if you feel like it.